That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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