Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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