While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
A bitchslap is in order.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
