Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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