girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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