i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
