make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
