puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
