So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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