so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
