I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
