Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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