I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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