why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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