No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
