Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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