Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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