The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
