Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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