i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
