I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
