well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
