I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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