I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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