You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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