I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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