I can't watch pbs sober anymore
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
