Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
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Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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