they need to just BURY HIM!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
