Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
