hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
