we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
