as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
