he wants to bone in the snuggie
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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