so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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