Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
