Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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