So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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