I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
