What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Less talking, more tequila
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.