Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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