what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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