So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
