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I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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