that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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