i think my tv is drunk
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
