got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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