he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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