he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
