tell your sister to shave her snatch
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
