Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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