This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
