I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
