How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
