you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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