Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
