I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize