The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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