We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
